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BEST OUT OF CONTEXT STEAM CHAT MESSAGE EVER:

11:45 PM - Paulisdead18: *aggressively plays the saxophone*

    “Looks like we're not robbing a mall after all.” Said Sean. Elena whined, disappointed. “These photographs seem to focus on a jewelry store located in the center of the mall.”

    “Interesting...” Said Lee. Sean looked up. Lee had the directions in his hands. “Apparently the mall's main power generator short-circuited and took out the auxiliary power. The mall's been closed for a few days for repairs. Sabotage from our client, no doubt.” Elena yawned.

    “Bo-oring.” She said.

    “There's more.” Said Lee. Sean and Elena looked at him attentively. “It turns out this jewelry store isn't a chain store but a local business that was allowed to move into the mall. According to our client, it's not exactly a legitimate business.”

    “Stolen jewelry?” Asked Sean. Lee nodded.

    “They buy stolen jewelry from the black market and even sometimes hire thieves to steal the jewelry for them, especially from funeral homes.” Said Lee.

    “So why is Bain interested in a local jewelry store?” Asked Sean.

    “Well, a relative of our client died recently, and she was wearing a necklace that was a family heirloom. When they held a funeral for her, the necklace was missing. Our client is asking us to retrive the necklace before it's sold and to steal as many other goods as possible, most likely to force them out of business.” Said Lee. Sean looked at one of the photographs and handed it to Lee.

    “That explains this one, then.” He said. Lee took it and looked at it. It was a beautiful necklace, and was definitely older than what most jewelry stores would be selling. Lee handed it back to Sean. Elena snatched it out of Sean's hands to get a good look at it. Sean grumbled, but let her look at it.

    “Oooh, pretty!” She said. “You sure we can't keep it?” Sean looked at her.

    “Since when do you like jewelry?” He asked her. She shrugged.

    “I'm a cat, I like shiny things.” She said. Sean and Lee looked at each other and shrugged.

    “Good morning! Wake the fuck up Sleeping Beauty!” shouted a young woman's voice. Sean lifted his head up and blinked. He stretched an arm out to angle his alarm clock so he could check the time. 7:30 AM. He sighed.

    “For the love of everything holy in this world,” he said calmly. “COULD YOU PLEASE FUCKING STOP WAKING ME UP THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING!” he said, not-so-calmly. He slowly got out of his bed, nearly tripping over junk on the floor. Gotta clean the room at some point, he thought. Gonna break my neck one of these days. He shuffled over to his closet door and looked in the mirror. Normally he'd ignore the iguana staring back at him, but for some reason he couldn't not look at the person in the mirror.

    It's been three months, he thought. Shit, I don't even recognize myself anymore. His light-green scales, normally shiny and colorful, have turned to a duller green. His face, long ago clean-shaven and young-looking, was now wrinkled and rugged. I've aged 10 years in three months, he thought. He was caught off-guard by the young woman's voice.

    “Hey shithead, you up yet? We got biz to take care of!” He shook his head. “Calm your tits, I'll be down in a moment!” he shouted. He looked back into the mirror, sighed, and then walked out of his room.



     Sean shuffled into the kitchen, scratching his back as he took in his surroundings. Still the same old kitchen he'd seen for the past 3 months. Never thought I'd miss seeing my mom's kitchen, he thought. I even miss the ugly wallpaper. The walls were a dull gray, with visible cracks and peeled paint here and there. This kitchen had some basic cooking appliances, but Sean hated using them. He'd always worry that they'd catch fire or blow up or something. In fact, he'd been surprised that it hadn't killed him yet. In the center of the room was a cheap round table and three chairs. Two of those chairs were occupied.

    “There you are!” Said the cat in the right chair. She was sipping coffee from a pink mug, clearly meant for children. “Honestly I was looking forward to thumping you to get you up but the less work I have to do the better.” She gave Sean a smile. Sean wasn't convinced of its sincerity.

    “Elena, please,” said the wolf in the left chair. “There's no need to treat Sean that way, he's done a lot for us.” His eyes never left the newspaper he was reading.

    “Lee, you don't need to defend me. I can stand up for myself.” Said Sean, shuffling over to the coffee maker. Lee didn't respond. He either wasn't listening or just didn't care. Sean could never tell. “Now what was this 'biz' you were yelling about?” Said Sean, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Elena slurped her coffee as loudly as she could.

    “Mmmm… I sure do love this brand of coffee” She said in a child's voice, ignoring Sean. Sean repeated his question, sounding a little more annoyed. “I said, what was this 'biz' you were yelling about?” Elena continued to ignore him.

    “Lee, why don't you pour yourself a cup of this? It's very tasty.” She said, caressing his forearm. Lee continued reading.

    “You ask me this every morning and I give you the same answer: I don't like coffee. And Sean asked you a question.” He said, without shifting his eyes away from his newspaper. Elena pulled her hand away and pouted.

    “You're no fun.” She said.

    “That's what my family tells me.” Said Lee. Sean sat down on the sole empty chair in the room.

    “Elena if you don't tell me what 'biz' we've got to take care of I'm going to make you wear this coffee.” Elena leaned over and looked at him in the eyes. She motioned for him to lean closer. Sean mumbled something to himself and obliged. Elena leaned close and whispered “It's a surprise” and then licked the side of his face. Sean immediately pulled away and wiped the side of his face as if it was splashed with acid. Elena leaned back and laughed to herself.

    “Damn it, Elena what the fuck is wrong with you?” He yelled, using his shirt to wipe where she licked him.

    “Oh, I'd say just about everything.” She laughed some more.

    “Since Elena is too busy being herself to tell you, what this 'biz' is, as she so eloquently put it, is a new client.” Said Lee. For the first time since Sean entered the room, Lee looked up from his newspaper, directing his attention towards Sean. Elena folded her arms across her chest and pouted again.

    “Aww, Lee, why'd you have to ruin my fun?” She said. “Because the sooner he knows, the sooner we can prepare the job and get the money. You do want the money, right Elena?” He said, looking at Elena. “Well duh, why wouldn't I?”

    “Hold on, we have a new client?” Said Sean. Lee nodded. “He asked for us specifically.” Sean raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Really? Damn. Guess we've finally made a name for ourselves then.”

    “You might say we're 'popufur'.” Said Elena. Both Lee and Sean ignored her.

    “So what's this guy's name?” Asked Sean, taking a sip from his coffee. Lee folded his newspaper.

    “He calls himself 'Bain'. He heard about us from our previous client, Gus, and figured we'd be perfect for the job.” Said Lee.

    “And exactly what does he want us to do?”

    “Well, to put it simply he wants us to--”

    “Rob a mall!” Interjected Elena, cackling to herself. Sean closed his eyes and remained silent for a moment. Elena opened her mouth to speak but Lee glared at her and put a finger to his slips. Quiet. The three of them were silent for a minute. Sean opened his eyes.

    “How did he contact us?” He said.

    “Left a message on our phone.”

    “What are the details?”

    “He said to expect a package within the next four hours. This happened two hours ago so we still have time before the package arrives.” Sean finished his coffee.

    “And we're to begin the moment it arrives, I'm assuming.” Lee nodded.

     “Well then,” Said Sean, standing up from his chair. “Let's get ready.”

Fur Will Fly: Chapter 1
This is the first chapter of Fur Will Fly, my first attempt at a novel-sized story. I only wrote a little bit for the first chapter because this is basically just setting up what's to come, so the next chapter will most likely be much longer.
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I met this cool person through email

Fell in love when she said she was female

We had a fine date

And when it got late

I found out that she was a shemale

ayy lmao
Just a stupid limerick I wrote for no reason. I'm weird :v
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The time has come again my lad

A time of joy and fortunes had

You are young, thou do not know

Of whence this time came upon us ago


'Twas years ago, or more it seems

When the threat of cold had haunted our dreams

We had no time, no food to spare

Our families hungered but would not dare

To hunt and gather in such a freeze

While old man winter did as he pleased


The time has come again my son

When all had seemed the cold had won

The gods looked upon us and said

“Your families starve and your crops are dead

But you've served us well these many years

And we pity you for all your fears

We shall grant you the warmth that you have yearned

But we request something in return”


The time has come again my boy

A time for most to be filled with joy

We now have warmth in this time of cold

But we must honor the request of old

The time has come at last my child

It must be done to tame the wild

Shed no tears, it's for the best

It's time to lay your soul to rest

The Time Has Come
Felt like doing some writing again, this time I decided to try my hand at poetry. Let me know what you think.
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Not that anyone cares.

But seriously, I'm hoping to get back to catching up on here again. Dunno how active I'll be now, my interest in the site is waning.
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: "Weird Al" Yankovic
  • Watching: Classic Game Room
  • Playing: Ace Combat Assault Horizon: Enhanced Edition

deviantID

SpykeXD
Duncan
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I'm a gaming enthusiast, and I've played many video games and know a lot about video games. Although I mostly play video games, I do also enjoy writing. I previously attempted to do a webcomic series that parodied other webcomics but became frustrated with my lack of drawing skills, and then tried other things on DA before I finally settled on creative writing. I try to update with a new poem, short story, or novel chapter every week if I don't forget or something else takes up my time.
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:iconthedreamvista:
TheDreamVista Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Excuse me, I'm gonna hate you, nor unforgive you for befriending Gligar13Vids, but is there a reason why you're friends with him?
Reply
:iconspykexd:
SpykeXD Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Because he's a pretty cool guy, he's tough and doesn't afraid of anything.

In all seriousness though, his YouTube videos are just troll videos. He doesn't take them seriously and it's clear you shouldn't either.
Reply
:iconthedreamvista:
TheDreamVista Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Student General Artist
Maybe I shouldn't. No wonder that he gets verbal abused a lot.
Reply
:iconspykexd:
SpykeXD Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
To him, all the people who rage at him are just fantards who take things too seriously.

Also, BVGN is back: ogcj.deviantart.com/
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconabelmvada:
AbelMvada Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014   Digital Artist
Hi, Duncan - thanks for letting :iconatariforce: show off your 7800!
You're more than welcome join our new group, should you feel so inclined, or to check out the galleries anytime you like. Cheers!
Reply
:iconctdsnark:
ctdsnark Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave times four!
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