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About Literature / Hobbyist Member DuncanMale/United States Recent Activity
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I met this cool person through email

Fell in love when she said she was female

We had a fine date

And when it got late

I found out that she was a shemale

ayy lmao
Just a stupid limerick I wrote for no reason. I'm weird :v

The time has come again my lad

A time of joy and fortunes had

You are young, thou do not know

Of whence this time came upon us ago

'Twas years ago, or more it seems

When the threat of cold had haunted our dreams

We had no time, no food to spare

Our families hungered but would not dare

To hunt and gather in such a freeze

While old man winter did as he pleased

The time has come again my son

When all had seemed the cold had won

The gods looked upon us and said

“Your families starve and your crops are dead

But you've served us well these many years

And we pity you for all your fears

We shall grant you the warmth that you have yearned

But we request something in return”

The time has come again my boy

A time for most to be filled with joy

We now have warmth in this time of cold

But we must honor the request of old

The time has come at last my child

It must be done to tame the wild

Shed no tears, it's for the best

It's time to lay your soul to rest

The Time Has Come
Felt like doing some writing again, this time I decided to try my hand at poetry. Let me know what you think.

    “Alright buddy, since this is your first time I'm going to show you the ropes.” Said Jack. Matt nodded. This was Matt's first time on the job, although he wasn't exactly excited for it. Matt and Jack are plumbers, Jack's been unclogging drains and cleaning pipes for years, Matt just happened to be good with his hands and needed the money.

    “Whatever, man.” Said Matt, sounding bored. Jack didn't seem to notice or care that Matt was bored, and knelt down under the sink in front of them. “Old pipes, some rust, lots of crap, definitely haven't been properly cleaned in years.” Said Jack, poking and prodding with his gloved fingers. “Our clients said it doesn't drain properly, so let's see what they mean.” Jack stood up and turned on the faucet. The sink filled up with water relatively quickly, but it wasn't draining as fast.

    "Drain's clogged, I'm assuming. Let's see how long it takes to drain.” Said Jack. Matt wasn't paying attention, he seemed more interested in the embroidered towels hanging over the toilet. After a few minutes, the sink finally drained. Jack reached for his toolbox and pulled out a drain tool. He took the tool and shoved it down the hole, and then slowly pulled it in and out.

    “This oughtta do it.” He said. “You gotta go nice and slowly to shake things up in there. Just gotta be careful when you pull out 'cause you might bring some crap with you, y'see.”

    “Right, gotcha.” Said Matt, focusing less on the plumbing and more on a freckle on his finger he only just noticed. Jack suddenly stopped pulling. “Uh oh,” he said. “I think I got the shaft stuck.”

    “Anything I can do to help?” Said Matt, finally taking interest.

    “Yeah, help me pull it out,” said Jack. “I'm getting old, I can't do this by myself.” Matt rolled his eyes and moved closer to the sink. He placed his hands around Jack's wrists and started pulling. They both strained and groaned as they tried to pull out the drain tool.

    “Holy shit it's in there tight.” Said Matt, taking a moment to catch his breath. Jack used this as an opportunity to look through his toolbox. “Oh no wonder, I forgot to use my special jelly and jam.” Matt looked up, confused. “Jelly and jam? What's the difference?”

    “Well Matt, it's quite simple, really,” Said Jack. “Jelly is what you use before you jam it in.”

Another short story I wrote. This one was an exercise to write the backstory to the joke, with the joke's original punchline being the last line of the story. I hope you like it :3
Mark swallowed. He had been nervous for weeks about this test, and now he's here doing it. His driving test. Mark has always been a little nervous about driving ever since he was in a car accident with his parents. Mark looked out the window of the student driver car that the DMV uses for their driver's tests. Snow lay about everywhere outside. This would not be pleasant.
“By all means, take your time.” Said the middle-aged man in the passenger seat. “It's not like I have other plans y'know.” Mark looked to him and nodded, his hands shaking. “Nervous?” asked the man. Mark nodded. “What's your name, son?” Mark told him.
“Mark, huh...” He said, attempting to sound interested in Mark's life. Mark wasn't convinced. “Listen, Mark. I know this test can be rough and I can see that you're a little nervous. We're just going to drive around the DMV's building and then I'll hand you your license. It's not that difficult.” Mark nodded again, placing his shaking hands on the wheel of the car. He put the keys in the ignition and turned them.
Mark backed out of the parking spot, hearing the soft crunching of the snow beneath the tires. Despite the cold, Mark was sweating. You can do this, he thought. It's not like before.

When the test was completed, Mark looked anxiously at the man, his instructor.
“Well, you did well. See? It wasn't that difficult.” Mark breathed a sigh of relief. “Say, kid, what made you so nervous about this test?”
“My parents were killed in a car accident.” The man looked at him with shock. “Oh my... I'm really sorry to hear that, Mark. Were you in the car with them?” He said, putting away his clipboard and pen so he could open the passenger door. Mark looked away. “Yes.” he replied quietly. “It was my first time behind the wheel.”
The Test
Just a short story that I wrote as a little writing exercise. I was given a random topic and wrote what came to mind with no planning beforehand. I think it's pretty nice, but please feel free to let me know if there's anywhere I can improve.
Not that anyone cares.

But seriously, I'm hoping to get back to catching up on here again. Dunno how active I'll be now, my interest in the site is waning.
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: "Weird Al" Yankovic
  • Watching: Classic Game Room
  • Playing: Ace Combat Assault Horizon: Enhanced Edition
Not that anyone cares.

But seriously, I'm hoping to get back to catching up on here again. Dunno how active I'll be now, my interest in the site is waning.
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: "Weird Al" Yankovic
  • Watching: Classic Game Room
  • Playing: Ace Combat Assault Horizon: Enhanced Edition


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I'm a retro gamer, furry, brony, and a complete nerd when it comes to video games. Try to find a console I haven't heard of. I dare you. I own many game consoles and I have a passion for games in general. I'll play anything other than sports games.

I'm not good at drawing, but I still like art. I now make qr codes for the 3DS game Animal Crossing: New Leaf, since that seems to be the only thing I can make that doesn't turn out like shit. Anyways, enjoy what I have to offer and stuff.

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TheDreamVista Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Excuse me, I'm gonna hate you, nor unforgive you for befriending Gligar13Vids, but is there a reason why you're friends with him?
SpykeXD Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Because he's a pretty cool guy, he's tough and doesn't afraid of anything.

In all seriousness though, his YouTube videos are just troll videos. He doesn't take them seriously and it's clear you shouldn't either.
TheDreamVista Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Student General Artist
Maybe I shouldn't. No wonder that he gets verbal abused a lot.
SpykeXD Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
To him, all the people who rage at him are just fantards who take things too seriously.

Also, BVGN is back:
(2 Replies)
AbelMvada Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014   Digital Artist
Hi, Duncan - thanks for letting :iconatariforce: show off your 7800!
You're more than welcome join our new group, should you feel so inclined, or to check out the galleries anytime you like. Cheers!
ctdsnark Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave times four!
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